Why Milliana's 3rd Adventure is Totally Rational

IN WHICH I FIND THE STORY OF "MILLIANA GOES OVERBOARD"

I was recently going through my drawers to clean out some of the old crap I have in there. I found a writers' notebook from second grade. Comedy. Freaking. GOLD.

DISCLAIMER:After reading this entry you WILL want to read Milliana's third adventure story…

Let me go through why this book/short story I wrote in second grade is 100% rational (in chronological order)...


1. Because a free birthday party for college students on the Intrepid in NYC is what everyone does.
2. Because 20 year olds still have birthday parties (without alcohol).
3. Because the Intrepid is so awfully guarded/railing-less that a girl can just fall off the boat.
4. Because instead of screaming your friend over to pull you back up onto the boat, you tell her to drop you into a life boat and float you away forever.
5. Because your friend will then just say "sure" and then walk away as you drop into the Hudson River.
6. Because from the Intrepid, the river obviously leads directly into the ocean.
7. Because when you go on the Intrepid, your dad packs you scuba gear and cheerios (?) assuming you'll fall off.
8. Because there will always be a shark on the North-East coast that will die from hitting a piece of coral.
9. Because there's always a desert island in the middle of the ocean.
10. Because a rich girl fell off her yacht and got stranded on that desert island, and no one went back to rescue her. Obviously! Why would they?
11. Because everyone's dad owns a helicopter.
12. Because Malissa is always spelled with an A instead of an E as the second letter.
13. Because Malissa will move in with you when you find her instead of going back to live with her parents.
14. Because you never know when you have two tickets to a Lady Gaga concert in New York.
15. Because while you may "go to college" in New York city you don't ACTUALLY attend this college.
16. Because you live in Seattle, go to college at the same time New York, and then go back just for an expensive Lady Gaga concert that you randomly have tickets to.
17. Because your dad with the last name Roberts was named Robert.


THIS COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN, RIGHT?
right.