The Problems With Being a Middle Schooler

   In third grade, I got my first locker. I was so astonished. I mean, the locker didn't actually have a lock. But, clearly I was so excited to be done with cubbies. Yet, I still could not wait for middle school when I'd finally have a lock on my locker. I can't believe I was ever excited.
   But I guess it makes sense- back then, we had it easy. We were cut some slack. Because the only thing in our locker was a backpack, and maybe a sweatshirt or a coat, or in case we were really fancy, some girls in fifth grade actually decorated theirs with mirrors and whiteboards.
   That was it, though. At the end of the day, you'd take your bag home with you, and your locker was basically vacant. All your books and folders that weren't homework would stay inside your desk... but now we can't do that. Because we have more than one class with more than one desk, and if I randomly decide to leave my binders in the desk it will get put in the lost and found and I'm basically screwed for the rest of the day because I won't be able to do my homework or do anything in any of the classes and if I don't do my homework I won't get into a good college and if I don't get into a good college I won't be able to get a good job, which means working in McDonalds in which I won't earn enough money to pay for my own place and then I'll be homeless. I know that was the hyperbole-ist of all hyperboles, but yeah...
   Anyway, my point is, in middle school, you can't leave all your stuff in your locker. There's so much STUFF!!! In elementary school, you don't have homework in all your subjects because that would be too much stuff- we were normally just stuck with twenty minutes of reading, and a math worksheet; no stress and no harm done. But in middle school, if you leave one folder in your locker, you're going to get in trouble, because you usually have homework in EVERY CLASS. Hence, my point: I have to take everything home with me at the end of the day.
   So I am writing this blog entry right now at ten o'clock at night lying on my bed with a HEATING PAD behind my back because of my back pains. I'm too young to be having back pains! Shouldn't those come in my forties? You're probably wondering "What the heck why does she have back pains?" Well, here's why: I carry way too much stuff in my bag, and I don't have a backpack. So here I am, walking from a whole other building to the bus with an overstuffed TOTE BAG that's hunching me over- and I mean literally hunching me over- when I walk. Kids must walk by me every day thinking I'm the Hunchback of Notre Dame With a Flowered Lunchbox.
   I really need a backback...
 
P.S. Excuse my complaining- I'm in a complaining mood today. And, as you can tell, I'm awfully bad at hiding my complaints.

If you want to read about the afterlife (AKA my social studies essay)

I know you probably don't want to be reminded of school (YET AGAIN), but my the topic of my social studies essay for ancient Egypt is actually pretty interesting. I love ancient Egypt, and I find the concept of life after death very cool. So, if possible… enjoy.

The Afterlife in Ancient Egypt

This is an ageless question; a question that has been asked for hundreds of thousands of years. It has been asked globally, a new theory on every continent. This question is: is there life after death? The ancient Egyptians thought so. They valued life more than anything, and a way to continue living even after you stop living was extremely precious. The afterlife, known to them as “The Land of Two Fields,” has been recorded on scrolls and walls of temples and tombs. To the ancient Egyptians, death was not the end- it was an invitation to the beginning of a new life.

On Earth, if a royal person died, the first thing that would happen to them is mummification. The process of mummification was a sophisticated process done by priests. First, their internal organs would be removed by long, sharp surgical tools. The brain was removed, too. It was pulled out by a long metal hook entering the nose that first punctured the skull and then pulled out the brain. However, it was considered useless and was disposed of. Each organ would be placed in different canopic jars, each with some sort of god or animal painted on it. The stomach would go in a jackal jar, the liver would go in the human jar, the lungs would go in the baboon jar, and the intestines were placed in a falcon jar. Then, the body was covered in spices and a special salt called “natron salt”. These would preserve the body for many, many years. After it was dried, the corpse was wrapped in hundreds of yards of linen- over 20 layers! Mummification was vital to entering the afterlife, because if your body was not preserved, you would not live through it. The ancient Egyptians believed it kept your Akh (soul), Ka (life force), and Ba (personality) alive in the afterlife. The mummification process was used for thousands of years.

Then, the deceased would be honored with an intricate funeral and burial service. Their family would walk behind the detailed coffin as it was lifted into the air and then carried. Next, a priest performed the “Opening of the Mouth” ritual, in which they would restore the mummy’s senses so they could see, breathe, and hear in the afterlife. After this, the mummy would be placed in the tomb. Many things were placed with the mummy (in the coffin), as they were supposed to comfort him or her all the way through the afterlife. Many important things were actually inside the coffin. There were four layers of coffin: the first was a gold outer coffin with human features painted on it, usually resembling the corpse. The next was gold foil laid over wood (each coffin was shaped like a human body). After that was a coffin made up of about 240 pounds of solid gold, and under it was a thin coffin covered in jewels, amulets, and magical charms meant to protect the mummy in the afterlife.

After that, it was off to the afterlife! The process of getting in is a very detailed, advanced process that has been recorded not only on walls, but a very important scripture called “The Book of the Dead.” This scribe described everything that went on while the person was in the afterlife. The first place they would go to was the Hall of Judgment, in which they would have to confess any wrongdoings to Maat, the goddess of truth. Then, their heart would be weighed by the jackal-headed god Anubis. Previously, when the body was mummified, they left in the heart so it could be with them in the afterlife. When the heart was weighed, it was on a scale compared against a feather (representing Maat). This judgment was to see whether or not you have been honest, or if you have done any good deeds. If your heart weighed less than or equal to the weight of the feather, you would be free to continue a heavenly life in The Land of Two Fields. If your heart weighed more than the feather, it means you have not been honest.  You would not be allowed in the afterlife, your heart and soul would be eaten by Ammut, the god with the backside of a hippopotamus, the body of a leopard, and the head of a crocodile. Then you would be sent back to Earth to be a spirit feared and hated by all the people. But it was not as simple as that; you wouldn’t just be sent into the afterlife if your heart was light. Sometimes, the deceased were not even able to get into the Land of Two Fields. However, if they got in, they were nonetheless able to spend all of eternity in a heavenly place where they could continue life.

  Today there are many sacred tombs that have lasted throughout many years. For example, there’s The Tomb of the Bird Mummies. It was a tomb housing only animals that had been mummified. Despite the name of the tomb, only one of the species there was a bird: the Ibis. The Ibis was one of the most sacred animals (or birds, to be more specific) to the ancient Egyptians. The animals in the Tomb of the Bird Mummies were ibises, baboons, cats, snakes, crocodiles, frogs, and still many more. Another important tomb was Abydos, which contained a half-flooded temple known as Osireon, which was built by Seti I. However, it’s mainly known for being the falsely thought tomb of Osiris. The most famous place, which contains the tomb of Pharaoh Tutenkhamen, is called Valley of the Kings. Valley of the Kings is where the well-renowned archeologist and egyptologist Howard Carter spent years searching for King Tut’s tomb. Many items were placed in the tomb to ensure the deceased would make it through to the afterlife. For example, jewelery, furniture, and even mummified pets could be found. In Tut’s tomb, the most incredible items were found, including his chariot. Besides Tut’s there were many more accesible tombs, and by 1000 B.C., all known royal tombs were robbed.

  There is a countless number of tombs, walls, and scrolls that record images and ideas of the afterlife. Even today, people still question whether or not there is an afterlife; a question asked all over the world. Yet, hundreds of thousands of years ago, that question was asked by a civilization so mighty and so unified- a civilization known world-wide. Hundreds (or maybe even thousands) of articles and books and documents have philosophies and theories on a life after death... but to the Ancient Egyptians, death wasn’t the finish line: it was simply the first chapter in a new life.

The Wonderstruck Diary of a Dog- Day 1

Day 1 

Ever since I found Little Girl's diary (and chewed it up), I always thought how cool it would be to make my own "mental diary."

Today Mister Dad was scratching his back on the corner of the wall, and I had an itch, so I thought I would try it to. Mister Dad yelled at me when I did. Later when we played fetch, I got yelled at again when I couldn't find the ball. It was right behind me.

I don't understand Mister Dad. After we went back inside from the yard to play fetch, he rubbed my tummy. Why is he trying to send me mixed messages?

Now I'm on Little Boy's Bed, because when my ball dropped and Miss Mommy wouldn't get it on Mister Dad and Miss Mommy's bed, I had to go downstairs.

Good Night.

Review Time #3: John Green (The Fault In Our Stars and Will Grayson, Will Grayson)

 John Green :)

Yesterday I went to Barnes and Nobles, the well-renowned bookstore that I'm sure you know about, to buy a copy of Will Grayson, Will Grayson, and I had a little epiphany: sitting on the shelves are tons and tons of books, written by tons and tons of authors that I know nothing about. I've only seen five authors that I know of out of hundreds of others. Why aren't these others known? That was sort of pointless and probably not classified as an epiphany, but whatever. My point is, John Green stands out upon those tons and tons of unknown authors. He is like the king of authors. Kids, teens, and adults everywhere have heard of him. The Fault in Our Stars, Will Grayson, Will Grayson, An Abundance of Katherines, Paper Towns, Looking For Alaska- do any of these sound familiar to you? Probably. Just one little thing I'm going to say before you read my long awaited entry- if you're not in middle school or under twelve, I'd probably refrain from reading these books until you're a bit older. It's just that although The Fault in Our Stars is amazing, it is 1) a bit innapro-pro, and 2) really depressing and overwhelming. And besides the great quality writing of  Will Grayson, Will Grayson, there is A MOTHER-FATHER load of cursing in this book. I know you hate a long "foreword" (as do I),  but just one tiny thing- as I said, I bought Will Grayson, Will Grayson only yesterday, so for the summary I'm just going to take it straight from the blurb. 

The Fault In Our Stars

Summary Hazel Grace Lancaster, a sixteen year old with cancer is forced to go to some support group in her church for other teens with cancer. Everything's boring and dreary. Until she sees Augustus Waters, who's half leg is covered by his dark denim jeans. He's so cool and different and... unique. Their relationship is adorable: they tell each other everything. Until something goes horribly wrong. The two stick together until the end. Okay? Okay. (Don't worry, you'll understand the "Okay" thing when you read the book. Sorry for the short summary, if I tell more I'll give everything away.)

You would like this if you've read Ways to Live Forever,  Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend

Good for ages 12+... maybe older, it depends on your "reading standards." Like I said before, although it is amazing, it's very overwhelming and for some people, depressing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will Grayson, Will Grayson

Summary ***From the blurb on the back of the book***  Will Grayson, meet Will Grayson. One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, two strangers cross paths. Two teens with the same name, running in two very different circles, suddenly find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, culminating in heroic turns-of-heart and the most epic musical ever to grace the high school stage.

You would like this if you've read Invisibility, Things Not Seen, or if you watched Mean Girls

Good for ages 14+. Normally I'd say 13 or maybe even 12, but there is a LOAD of cursing in this book.

A Little Note About "Recommended Blogs"

Attention, readers!

The Incredibly Shopping-Filled Life of an Only Child -http://theemmiethatstrulylegit.blogspot.com

and

Tales of a Partial Redhead  - http://copperisredhair.blogspot.com


do no longer exist.
I'm sorry.

Gullibility

   I'm not the… um… brightest kid.

   I always got good grades, and teachers normally didn't hate me. But, you see, there are really two different kinds of smart: academically, and logically. Some extremely fortunate people are born with the gift of both, but unfortunately, I did not. If somebody had not known me in school, I could probably be considered dumb.

   My strong suits- math, english, music, art

   The things I lack- any sense of direction whatsoever, not being gullible, any logic

   Here is a story that happened in fifth grade that although you might find it pretty interesting, I am very embarrassed. When I appealed the entry idea to my friends at lunch yesterday… well, let's just say I wish I hadn't. I'm going to present it to you in script form.

11 year old, 5th grader Ella is sitting at the lunch table in the awfully-lit cafeteria. Sitting at the table with her are her two good friend, Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65 and Blonko. 

Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65: Ella came over to my house for the first time yesterday!

Blonko: Really? Did she get the pleasure of moving the dot on your wall?

Ella: It is true, t'is I who moved the stick-on wall decor to another side of the wall.

Blonko: Shut up and speak like a normal person.

Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65: Hey, Ells? Can I tell you a secret about my house? Besides my family, the only other person who knows is Blonko.
Ella: Oh my god, you're lying. There's no "secret" about your house.
The girls' faces turn deadly serious very suddenly.
Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65: Seriously. Just listen. So you know that other switch next to the light switch, you know, the one that's taped down with duct tape?
Ella: Yeah. Why? What does this has to do with anything?
Blonko: It's… um…
Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65 lowers her voice, to a barely-there whisper.
Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65: It can blow up the house.
Ella: Nuh-uh. Why would you have a freaking BOMB switch in your room? This is a lie.
Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65: Will you just believe me? Look, like, twelvle years ago, my house used to be a mob house.
Ella: Mob? Mob house, as in, a house for the mafia?
Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65: Yes. Anyway, the police found out they were stationed there, so they were going to run away. Their plan was that if the cops by any chance found them before they could flee to some other place...
Blonko & Ella: It would blow up the house.
Ella: You should totally get this on TV! You know, like, a reality show! No. Seriously. You should get a police investigation.
Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65 and Blonko couldn't hold it in anymore. They both snorted.
Mrs.LadedaRainbowDash65: Your face is redder than a tomato.
Ella: Shut up.


The end :)

Embarrassing Poems From my Third Grade Notebook

Enjoy my current misery.

Bored!

When will this
Dumb
Test be
Over?
That last poem,
called
Test,
Well,
This is the sequel,
I guess.
It's not even
A real
Test!
It's one of those
Dumb
Field Tests,
Where they just
Try out questions
On you
For the next
(Field)
Test.


Halloween

Halloween!
Yes, Halloween,
my favorite holiday.

The
hershey bars
the milkyways
and gum
the thrills
the fun!

The
haunted house
preperation
meet
but when the
tricker-treaters
come,
they yelled at us
oh, why, oh me!?

My dad
forgot the candy!


This is one of the poems I wrote to Alexandria (see entry below) during our Third Grade "Giraffy" Fight. Enjoy...

Why?

My feelings
Are smashed
Are crushed
Are broken
When my friends
Fight,
they make all sorts
of drama.
And when it fills
The room
It strikes me
And starts tingling
My fingertips
It runs up through
My arms
Up in my chest
Until it hits my
Mouth.
And I want to
Say something
But
No words
Come
Out.


And then I tried some supposedly "creative" "word poems." *Sigh*...

Hollywood

   o
         wood
Ho  
         wood
  o
Holly
Holly
Hollywood.


Marker

Mark
   a
Marker,
Mark!